The rest of their lives

Bhramarlal, 81 years old, had lost his wife just 11 months ago and was struggling with intense loneliness. He says, “No doubt that I am physically weak but mentally I am much stronger than a 28 years old youth. I will not hide my feelings. I was feeling lonely without a woman in my life.” Yet conventional wisdom says, being at the fag end of his life, he doesn’t have enough time on this earth to make a fresh beginning worth the while. So he was left to grapple with his loneliness.

On August 16, 2011, the expert in the Vedas decided to challenge all that as he tied the knot with 61 years old Pramodini Paranjape in a special ceremony held in Vadodara in Gujarat in the presence of their matured children and grand children. His new wife Pramodidni was a spinster till now and had spent her life taking care of his orphaned nephew. He says, “I want to live every moment of the rest of my life with new my wife. I asked my children if they have any opposition to my re marriage.” When they agreed, the elderly couple formalised their union.

Nathubbhai Patel, who runs the NGO “Vina Mulye Amulya Sewa” for lonely elders and arranges marriages for them says, “Joint family tradition was useful to our lonely elders as they never felt lonely between children and grand children. However, in this jet age everybody is busy and nobody takes care of our lonely elders. Joint families are on the verge of collapse. Children are settling in other states or abroad. They have not enough time for their aged but lonely parents. Many times they are sent to old age homes.” His NGO has arranged lots of marriages of this kind.

Another example is 27 year old Palak Rawal who on May 24, 2011 not only tied a nuptial knot but also held the marriage of her lonely father. She says, “I was very upset with my father’s loneliness. I decided that I will not marry until I find a proper life partner for my father. At last after search of two years I was able to find out proper life partner for my father. 56 years old father has now got Arunaben (54) and now he is happy.”

One lonely elder from Jain community says, “I don’t think that I am old. I am earning well as a financial advisor. I am in search of like minded life partner. I wish to work for 11 months and enjoy vacation of one month with her.” Natubhai says, “I am getting more than 100 applications from elderly aspirants.”

Becharbhai Tayerwala has five sons and two daughters. He is eagerly awaiting a call from Natubhai’s NGO. He lives separate life and wants a nice life partner at this stage of life.

Refuting the archaic traditions of enforced hermitage in their old age, our elders don’t want to spend their lives alone anymore. They are eager to fill colours in their lives and enjoy it.