The ref and the rules

 

 

When and why did you decide to organise swinging parties?

The idea came up when I visited a swingers club in London. I was amazed by the ambience and atmosphere there and what moved me the most was the respect that everyone was showing for each other. As a female you would feel more secure sitting there, watching people have sex, than you would feel walking on the streets of Delhi. It was amazing to see women expressing their sexuality and men sportingly fully supporting them. Men would come along with their wives with an intention to give their wives a memorable time. They would just sit and watch while their wives would play. What was supposed to be a cultural shock for many had a very inspiring effect on me and I decided to embark on the swingers’ journey. We might deny it, but in modern times most men and women fantasise about sex as a pure form of pleasure, so rather than thinking about it all the time, I believe that one should just do it and get over with it and move on to other important things in life!

Do you talk about the idea of swinging openly or only to a few close ones (to stay on the safer side)?

Well, I talk about sex openly. These are topics that I am very passionate about and I have no fears in openly expressing my views as long as I am in a position to properly explain my perspective.

What is the impact of swinging on a couple's relationship?

If not done right, swinging can completely destroy a relationship. If you don’t take it as a fun activity then some questions are enough to destroy a relationship. Some of which are: What if she enjoys having sex with him more than with me? What if I don’t last that long and she mentions that the guy was good and gave her earth shattering orgasm? What if she gave him a b*** which I never give? So, it’s very important that it is done in the right spirit and for this reason alone, there is no closed-room activity allowed in my parties. Everything happens in the open, in front of everyone… True party spirit prevails; everyone enjoys and only the most adventurous and the sexually liberated would jump into the action.

About a typical swinger party:

5-10 couples allowed
Demographics: Mostly married in the age group of 30-40. Belonging to middle-class and higher middle-class
The criteria for screening: Would you be ok if your wife has sex with someone and you don’t get it at all throughout the night?
No dress code
No party fee or charges
No alcohol, ecstasy, drugs

Q. Are there any provisions for the actual sexual rendezvous at these parties? Or has it to be handled at ‘your place or mine’ level?

There are special play areas at party venues, which have specially designed sets for naughty games and sexual explorations. Any contact outside the party venue is discouraged. Moral policing is rampant in India.

How do you think such groups would react to a swingers club?

I would be murdered for sure! Very few people genuinely believe in swinging as a lifestyle. Then again I am sure that if these people attended the party, then they would change their minds.