"Why was my life not saved"

Five years after he rescued four children from a flaming house on an April afternoon, Subhash Kumar has just a certificate and a medal to show for his heroism. The dreams he had nurtured then are dying. He says, “I saved four children, why was my life not saved? I have no security for the future.”

Kumar, now 19, is a recipient of the National Bravery Award, 2008. He appeared for his 12th exams last year and scored second division. He has been unable to find admission in any college as he does not have the money for fees. His 45 year old father Gurusharan Rawat does odd jobs and is the only earning member in a family of six. Hit by poor health, he manages to make Rs 3,000 to 4,000 a month.

To save money for his education, Kumar has recently started working as a door to door salesman for a electronic stoves company. From his home in the rural fringe of Nawaz Purva in Chinhat (Lucknow), every morning he cycles 10 kilometers to pick up the products. Then he spends 6-8 hours walking around in search of customers. It’s a task that fetches him Rs 3,000 a month but he says the money does not amount to much after paying the school fees of three younger siblings. Young Subhash now also has a wife. His mother Jamunawati says that they married him off due to lack of money. "His father remains unwell and there is so little money that we may not be able to afford his marriage in future.”

In 2008 though, marriage was the last thing on Kumar’s mind. “I wanted to join the army and serve the nation”, says the quite boy whose eyes still light up at the mention of the award. “I became a hero”, he says. But after the spotlight moved on, no one asked after him again. “So many people promised help. Now there is no one,” he shrugs. Kumar received a cheque for Rs 45,000 as cash reward. A part of  that money went into buying a life insurance policy for himself. He hasn’t been able to pay the last three premiums.

For all the hardships that have visited him, Kumar has not lost his zeal to help others. Earlier this year, when a bus passing nearby fell into a canal, he was the first to arrive at the scene to initiate rescue work. Besides a hunger to study more, Kumar says he wants to “win many more medals”. If life gives him the chances, there is no reason why he should not.