Nostalgia of seclusion

Book Review: Love in a Headscarf
Author: Shelina Zahra Janmohamed
Publisher: Amaryllis
Language: English
Cover: Paperback
ISBN-10: 1845134281
ISBN-13: 978-1845134280
Pages: 282 pages
Price: 295

LOVE and marriage are not the grand abstracts that exist outside the realities of life; they come shackled to the drudgery of daily routine; Love follows no scripture, only the heartbeat; but Marriage, an Islamic one, has its paradigms inscribed with certainty.

To be accepted in the public domain, does a girl necessarily need to be 'sexy'? For Shelina, it is arduous to reconcile as a practicing Muslim women wearing Hijab – the headscarf. She is young, with a fair, calm face, whose lines bespeak repression and even certain strength. But the time has turned a dull stare on her eyes, whose gaze is fixed away off yonder on one of those patches of blue sky.

The memoir - Love in a Headscarf - is narrated through the perspective of a Muslim woman living in the West, who remains under a persistent dilemma to find a 'Suitable Match'. The book unveils an arduous struggle that Shelina goes through while living amid the people who are not fascinated by what she is - a girl in Hijab.

Shelina starts meeting people at the age of 19. Unmarried, desolate and past her otherwise mesmerizing youth to the misery of lovelessness, Shelina is in search of a suitable match. Indeed, he turns up, a man embossed with youthfulness, full of charm and promise – the possible end of her seclusion, a relationship begins. But relationships are formed when two hearts wax into each other before the sublime shine of divinity. And here, that really is not the case. The other is a stubborn heart – refusing to paint itself with the colour of love. Disappointment follows. Not just that, the recap of the tale, with minute swing of characters, again and again and again, perpetuated her discomfort. Every person she meets has some disparity; and disparity means rejection.

On such occasions, mother's advice is always a treasure to have. And then, experience counts; her mother has already been through the journey Shelina is about to set her sails on. So advices gradually overtake desires. Marriage seems to her a kind of deal that is setelled after a good play of negotiations. In the circle of marriage, value and impact of relationship blossom when two lovers flow into each other. The two halves are not actually created by a line drawn across the diameter. Instead, each half melts into the other, a curvaceous, infinite sweeping. The feminine holds a contrasting circle of masculinity at its very heart. The masculine cherishes a sparkling jewel of femininity at its core. And then, love sufficient unto itself.

Long before the moment when her youth was at horizon, Shelina has a preconceived notion that her marriage will be an arranged one. She was, at some level, frustrated by a misconception that such unions bypass the desires of the bride and groom. Though there are no long-term dating procedures, Islam provides a person the liberty to know other. The Islamic view on marriage is that the man or woman should make a choice as to who they want to marry.

Throughout her life, Shelina has been adventurous and lively like a normal women of west. A lover of travels, mountaineering, and technology. Yet she is pretty much “unacceptable”. Times takes a swing for Shelina. Life pushes forward demands, strangely so. Modernity persuades her that it was essential to fulfill certain demands like comfort, style, status, romance. But there are some essentials associated with the existentiality of Shelina as a Muslim. What is it that enhances the life standard of a person? Education, of course, her father would argue. And like that she was, well educated; constraints didn’t fade though. At some level, it explores the comfort level of a Muslim woman living in the west with things that are essentials of her religion. The book, thereby, is also about the acceptance of a culture.

In the post 9/11 world, life of Muslim - particularly Muslim women - changed drastically. Wearing Hijab is always seen with a doubtful look. Despite the fact, the author writes, most of the "terrorist acts" were carried out by men; it was the Muslim women’s headscarf that turned into one of the targets for attack, both verbal and physical.

It doesn't actually tell about the struggle that a Muslim woman, wearing a Hijab – and particularly living in the west – has to go through, it unveils a larger topic in the personal memoir. The book is about the strife about between Islam and contemporary culture – the disparity in acceptance of it in an Islamic society and the otherwise. The book also unveils the understanding of the beauty by different people.

All the while trying to balance her independence against the possibility of running her reputation with the match-making aunties, Shelina goes through a mild rebellion by climbing Mount Kilimanjaro, travels to Egypt with her girlfriends and buys a fancy car. Initially her search to find a perfect match was entirely traditional. But gradually, she expands her methods to include online matchmaking sites and even disastrous Muslim “speed dating” events in London. Eventually she does meet “Mr. Right” at an Islamic conference.

With every new candidate comes a new story, filled with curiosity, high expectations, and followed by disappointment. When she recounts these first unsuccessful “similar to job interviews” with handsome boys who are highly praised by some old aunties, the author captivates the reader. But fails to keep the lure till the end. Somewhere in between, it looses- the narrative.