Meet the Swingers

 

 

Since how long have you been 'swinging'?

Less than a year.

What do you feel are the reasons that can drive a couple to opt for swinging?

Wife: Reasons to begin swinging can range from sheer curiosity to adding spice to an existing great sex life or maybe boredom in some cases. The desire to swing can be put down with any other desire like the desire to watch a film or the desire to go out for dinner or any other form of entertainment. For us, it was just something we wanted to try out.

Husband: Yes, the curiosity started it all. I, for one, believe in 'pro-choice' when it comes to a lot of things in life. It all started with talks of a threesome, which again was more out of curiosity than lust. Somehow, we kind of got lucky when this subject was broached with friends.

Out of the two of you, who introduced whom to this idea? How did you broach the topic?

Wife: He broached the subject and both of us fantasised together about how it could be/would be etc. We talked for months before we actually spoke to someone about it. We didn’t talk or discuss swapping actually… it was more of being together with another couple in an intimate sort of way.

How was your first experience as a swinger?

Wife: Our first experience was quite nice... We went through friends, friends’ friends and then shortlisted before we went and actually met them. It was fun time spent together with another couple. We were both excited as well as a little apprehensive. Overall it was a good experience. We aren’t very apprehensive now and are a little more confident than before.

Is it possible to maintain a normal husband-wife relationship once you begin swinging? How does the relationship change?

Wife: Yes, it is very much possible to maintain a normal relationship. This isn’t possible if the couple doesn’t or cannot trust each other. The success of this lifestyle depends on the bond, trust and respect that the couple share with each other. In this the relationship between the couple comes first, and the decision to go ahead is taken jointly.

Husband: We've had a couple of encounters with other sets of couples. Nothing has changed in the relationship... On the contrary, we laugh at the fact that those we meet are so ignorant. There are some very funny things too that one wouldn’t otherwise get to see from 'close quarters'.

Do you discuss your experience with each other after a swinging session?

Wife: We discuss everything that has happened… everything that worked/didn’t work, every feeling, every emotion to complete the experience.

Do couples with kids experiment with this lifestyle too?

Wife: Of course, they do…What makes you think that couples with kids are any different?

Husband: We have kids too! Would you ever tell your children about your experiences as a swinger?

It probably will be one of the things we'd tell them along with stories of being part of the dot-com boom, trekking in the Himalayas, cycling from coast to coast, etc.

Do you keep in touch with other couples/swingers with whom you have interacted?

Wife: Not as a rule…We haven’t really met any couple the second time.

Husband: We have had telephonic conversations though, post enounter.

Aren't you scared that your partner may fall in love with someone else at such a party?

Wife: No, we aren’t afraid of that. We are actually very happy and content with each other and are absolutely alright if we didn’t go to any such party ever. These experiences have been more like “experiences,” which are more physical than anything…we don’t have our emotions involved here.

Husband: Nope.

From your experience and interactions with other swingers, do you feel that this lifestyle could add life to a dying relationship and possibly help mend a couple’s bond?

Wife: We don’t think so, and we haven’t been here long enough to know that people use this to mend relationships. In fact, this is for people who have strong, fulfilling relationships and is not for people looking to solve any problems in their relationships. We think that this isn’t a solution for anything. In fact, if one is looking for something deeper, it can only complicate things and make weak relationships weaker/messier, and give more topics to argue about.

Husband: There are people who force their partners into this – but that gets into another domain – swapping. This is more about being ok with oneself – for a couple to be ok with themselves. Swinging isn’t therapeutic for sure! In our case, I think it’s safe to say that we have fulfilled the curiosity aspect, and we are not looking for another swapping session.

Do you think a society based on such principles would be better than the one we live in today?

Wife: Swingers are people, who are a little more open-minded in relationships. That’s the only difference with the rest of the world.

Husband: Ours is a society based on morals. Morals, again, have been defined by the society – so there's a fundamental de link or a conflict of interest. The people we met (and we would like to count ourselves too) are socially conscious, involved selflessly in several activities (other than swinging, of course) for the general good of the society. After the two encounters we have had, that little doubt we had whether we were freaks were dispelled!

What would you advise first-time swingers?

Precautions are absolutely necessary – check credentials first! Practice safe sex and be doubly sure before you venture into it.