In love with love

 

 

You begin losing your appetite, forgetting ordinary routines of life; days go by as you lose yourself in a dream… No wonder then that long ago in the Elizabethan times people actually sought medical help as love took over one’s life and nothing seemed just as before anymore… “For the Elizabethans lovesickness was considered a real, virulent disease with recognisable symptoms and cures,” says Dr Lesel Dawson, author of Lovesickness and Gender in Early Modern English Literature. “Many of the clichés we use to describe love today such as burning with passion, or dying of a broken heart are given a physiological basis in Renaissance medicine, which suggests that love actually did raise body temperature and put excessive strain on the heart.

Anatomists report seeing hearts literally burned or otherwise physically damaged in the dissected bodies of those who had supposedly died for love. Love was believed to trigger an immediate physical reaction, in which the liver malfunctions, the blood becomes corrupt, and the body deteriorates.” Thankfully, the times have changed, but what’s true even today is that anybody can fall in love, anytime of the year, and when Valentine’s Day comes calling, it’s time for the young and old to celebrate their love. Falling in love is like a high that you just cannot understand. The thrill of the first touch is like driving at 120 kmph in the wrong lane. You begin relating with clichés like ‘love completes you’ and ‘all you need is love’. As the feeling of being loved and wanted so entirely, grows, you begin to smile a lot more… “It is that pleasant feeling that gives you a natural high and ends up making the person feel healthy and stronger and richer from within,” says Dr Sanjay Chugh. You begin to make little sacrifices, which, “is the behavioural way to show love,” says Paul Van Lange of Free University at Amsterdam. “Generosity is doing more good to the partner than the partner has done for you, and is, like sacrifice, an important trust-building activity,” says Lange. Renowned psychologist, Dr Robert Sternberg demystified love with his Triangular Theory of Love. “Love is a combination of intimacy, passion, and commitment. The more of each you have, the better the love you have,” says Dr Sternberg.

Throughout history people have attempted to figure out what love is, and how it takes over our lives. In the last century, psychologists, biologists, anthropologists and neurologists have all conducted studies and researches to understand that warm, fuzzy feeling better. Studies in neuroscience have shown that when a person falls in love, the brain releases chemicals like pheromones, dopamine, norepinephrine, serotonin that make that person feel all nice and happy, and so in love! Neurologists like Dr. Andrew Newberg have observed activity in the brain of a person in love and Newberg has even gone on to state that love has a similar effect to that of drugs, which we so often pop in for relief, and that without love, humanity wouldn’t be able to last for long…

All those goons pushing their weight around, threatening to patrol towns with a pundit in tow to marry off all young couples celebrating Valentine’s Day need to sit back and realise that love is an emotion to treasure,

not to sully with slurs. We humans are wired such that we can care and love, and the youth in India have every right to find their soul mates without being chastised. On Valentine’s, if not every other day, thank your partner for how he/she has made your life beautiful. And remember, perfect relationships are not only what fairy tales are made of, but also what you and your mate can achieve. Like Dr Robert Sternberg says, “lots of love, shared values, shared interests, shared views about roles in the relationship”

go into making a couple picture perfect. “Also, the willingness to compromise and care more about the other person than about oneself,” says Dr Sternberg. So go on, make your Valentine’s day this Valentine!