An IIPM Initiative
Monday, November 18, 2019


We want to be dads, not fathers


I wouldn’t want my son to hide things from me due to lack of empathy
TSI | Issue Dated: May 13, 2007
Tags : |
We want to be dads, not fathers Manvendra Singh Gohil

Former Prince of Rajpipla and Gay activist We want to be dads, not fathers I feel that the role of a father is very vital in this competitive, complicated generation to come. Though I won’t be able to biologically father a child due to my sexuality, I had expressed my desire to adopt a male child to carry forward the family lineage. I am going to share what I missed as a son and what I intend to give to my son. I inherited good qualities in my upbringing or sanskar, which I wish to pass on to my son. What I didn’t receive from my father is warmth, love and affection. In most royal families (including the one to which I belong, i.e. the erstwhile princely State of Rajpipla), there is a lack of belonging and the parent-child relationship comprises of excessive formalities. As a result, there is barely any attachment between father and son. They don’t miss each other and I wouldn’t make a reprise of this behaviour between me and my son.

I feel fathers should treat their sons as friends and attempt to understand them by placing them in their shoes, so that they enjoy better relations. Most sons hide things from their fathers due to lack of understanding. Too much dependence leads to a lack of confidence. I feel that too many restrictions are detrimental and a certain modicum of independence is necessary, along with a sense of discipline and respect for elders. I’m not religious, but I wish my son would develop a faith in a higher reality. I have observed that most children hailing from affluent families lack value for money, since money comes easy. I want my son to know that money doesn’t grow on trees and encourage him to become a self-made person, rather than depend on ancestral wealth, as this quality has helped me in life. Our education system has gone to the dogs, as in the bygone days, one found committed or dedicated teachers to impart knowledge to children. I don’t place much hope in our system improving. A father has greater responsibility to ensure that appropriate information is disseminated to his son. I believe in imparting the best education, depending on his aptitude and skills. It barely makes a difference whether schools impart sex education. At every stage of the education of a child, sex education needs to be imparted gradually as he grows up, so that he is free from holding misconceived views.

I shall make my son aware about my homosexuality when the time is right, before a third party tells him that his father is gay. I would like to pass the qualities that I possess to my son, i.e. simplicity, honesty, truthfulness, humility, self-respect, faith, discipline, punctuality and contentment. If my son has got a God’s gift or is good at anything, I would go out of the way to encourage him to develop his skills. My parents encouraged me when they discovered that I was interested in music and today, I am learning to play the harmonium from the world’s best. A father should know what his son likes and instead of forcing him to take up a career, he should guide him to take up what interests him. Last but not the least, I believe in preserving the traditions and customs of our rich cultural heritage.

I want my son to develop a sense of appreciating Indian classical music. I feel this is very necessary, since most children are influenced by the West and they pick up the negative rather than the positive. We are forgetting our culture and students from the foreign countries are more interested in learning our culture. I would like my son to celebrate all our festivals not just for the sake of celebrating them, but after understanding their full meaning and purpose. A healthy body and mind are the most essential part in anyone’s development. I would like my son to follow the yogic path of life and implement the yogic philosophy in his life for a better, healthier and happier way of life.
Rate this article:
Bad Good    
Current Rating 0
Previous Story

Previous Story

Post CommentsPost Comments

Issue Dated: Feb 5, 2017